"Ja’ne Money is evil, Margaret Thatcher!"

It’s almost time for my small, well, big college “Homecoming Tour.”

Over the next 4 weeks, I will be out of town non-stop (see L of D’s post). I must admit, I am a bit overwhelmed, yet timid about meeting all these different faces from different places. What will they think of me? Gotta keep gum in my mouth, my personal space will be invaded. Will they just stare (which lets me know they are having a great time!)? Will they know any of the new tunes? Will they sing “Violet Stars Happy Hunting!”, or better yet, “Many Moons” loud and obnoxious in the faces of their peers and professors, even the hearing impaired? That would be nice. 😉 I hope someone in a white sheet screams for me to perform “Cybertronic P.”

My dream would be for someone to fall in love with old images of me, when I wore my hair out, free and safe, and wasn’t wearing high waisted pants. They booked this show like a year ago, signed the contract and agreed to pay me, but at the last minute look on http://www.youtube.com at one of my videos and ban me from coming to the institution for let’s say, uhhh… dressing like a boy and shaking my hips like a raunchy girl (perfect combination). Then, while The W.A.S. is arguing with the conservative nit wits and I am brushing the sides of my hair in the mirror like James Dean, the student body and entire village began marching outside with pickets of my name and hair on them, demanding that I take the stage! There are some who just want to slap me on the left jaw for being there, but the majority are ready for a revolution! Some big boned girl with extremely long bangs wearing saddle oxfords would tie up the authorities with rope, push them in the closet, no, make them watch the performance with duck tape on their mouthes. The Omish and Mormon community will be in the front row rowdy and acting unorthodox. Ahh, what a dream. I want to have a James Brown, Elvis, or Johnny Depp in “Crybaby” moment. For some odd reason, I want to feel like those extraordinarily gifted class acts who performed for high schools in the segregation days. But, not with all their social issues. No water hoses. The police can leave the German shepards in the donut room too. I really want to be the “taboo” artist, for good reasons though. I want parents to be afraid a riot will happen in their conservative home. Instead of women burning their bras this time, I want them to put them back on again. I want the churches and strippers to call me possessed. Okay, I am carrying myself away. Gotta hurley!

Just another random thought. What’s yours? What would be one of your revolutionary moments in history? In my dream, you would comment, but don’t feel obligated to, fore it’s only 2007.:)




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